When I was a child growing up I dreamed about moving to the US and becoming an American. I felt more 'American' than Canadian. I think this was due to the overwhelming media onslaught that we have up here, combined with the lack of distinct cultural identity.
As I grew older and shifted into my idealistic phase, I grew to detest the US. I considered it an 'imperialist force' which had committed crimes globally: a hypocritical, materialistic and shallow society filled with fools. I bought into the Canadian propaganda that we were 'kinder, smarter, and more respectable'. As much as I wanted to leave Canada, I had no desire to live in the United States.
But I don't judge the US for its history. Like all colonial forces it was created by oppressing, killing and subjugating its indigenous population. The wealth of the country was overwhelmingly created off the backs of slaves whose descendants continue to suffer, and who were never given any proper reparations. Nothing can ever possibly justify these things. I judge according to what it is now, and the quality of life I can obtain currently.
I wouldn't go so far as to call the US the best country in the world, because I don't believe any country can claim that title as all are flawed with a history of abusing their citizens or others. If I were to seek a country with a 'clean past' I couldn't find residence anywhere in this world.
So why then, do I prefer the USA to Canada?
For me, America is: Johnny Cash and Elvis Presley, it's the golden age of Hollywood; it's Abe Lincoln and Benjamin Franklin; it's Mount Rushmore, Yellowstone and the statue of Liberty. America is a country singer crooning in Tennessee; a sunny day in California; smart-talking Texans that don't take crap from anyone. America is an idea, an ideal; it's the goodhearted working class people that live there. In essence, America exists and yet it's something intangible ... you simply feel it.
The problem with Canada, to me, is that it's a big empty country filled with unimaginative, uninteresting people where there's just nothing going on. Everything we have here is some residual wash over from the US. Which makes this country a bit like vanilla ice cream: bland but seemingly harmless and inoffensive to fuss about.
People can't seem to understand why I detest Canada, but how could you understand unless you live here? They don't know what it's like to live in a boring, cultureless place filled with cold, smug people. The places they come from have long histories and unique cultures stretching back centuries or millennia. Or they're from the US and take it for granted that other countries share its enthusiasm, optimism and opportunities.
And then there are the cakers who we might call 'culturally-Canadian' - somewhat of a paradox. They don't want to live anywhere else, they don't want to see anything else. They are happy in this bland, benign, forgettable place. When you express the need to leave they simply can't comprehend. When you talk of moving to the US they quite literally gasp and begin listing doomsday scenarios for what could occur: health emergencies, being shot, being consumed by a natural disaster and so on.
Cakers prefer safety to adventure. Cakers are content without culture. Cakers can live in an arctic setting for a lifetime; they believe boredom and depression are the natural order of things. Cakers prefer solitude and isolation to engagement with the world. And none of that is necessarily wrong, but it's just not for me.
Then there are the adopted cakers. These are very strange people that I can't begin to understand. They come from places with excitement, ancient cultures, compelling histories and so forth - but prefer to live here of all places! In an odd way, these may be the truest cakers of all: having experienced life elsewhere, having choices and yet choosing this place!
So yes, a happy immigrant to Canada that willingly resides here is much more Canadian than I have ever been or could ever be. Just as I'm sure I'll be much more American than the floozies who flee up the border and live here believing it's somehow an improvement.
For all its many and well-documented imperfections, the US is a place I want to improve, a place I want to contribute to. The same can't be said for here. I have the ability to move there at any time so now it's simply a matter of saving the money to make it happen.
I don't make this blog so that other people will hate Canada, whether they do or not is irrelevant to me and my purpose of moving. I don't make it to convince Canadians to leave. If they wanted to leave, they wouldn't be cakers now would they? Most Canadians believe they live in the best place on earth and have no desire to move - and I say good stay put!
I just write this for the people who understand ... my European and American friends surely don't. Only someone who was born and raised here, who's lived here for a lifetime can truly understand. Only they know the cultural poverty, the self-satisfied hypocritical citizens, the cold and the desolation.
It always amuses me when I hear people say the problem will be fixed by moving somewhere else in Canada:"if I move from Toronto to Nova Scotia ..." or "if I move from Ontario to Vancouver" or the country to the big city and vice versa. I've done it all, been just about everywhere, experienced more of Canada than the average caker who scolds me ... and I know for fact it doesn't get better.
So my fellow Canadian-hostages, take heart - you are not alone. Good luck getting out!
